A life lived in fear is a life half lived

Those immortal words as Fran speaks them to Scott in hurried Spanish (name that movie) always intrigued me. I understood the meaning in the context of the film, but it wasn't until last Sunday that they truly sank into my own context.

James wanted to take the boys ice skating during our "Christmas" weekend and I needed to go to a Paper Source store. Reston Town Center had that all. So on Sunday morning we all piled into Lola and drove out to Reston. I showed James where to take the boys to find the ice rink and I went to Paper Source (who had the cutest holiday paper crafts that I just had to have). I wasn't there long since I knew exactly what I wanted and as I made my way to the rink I thought that maybe we would spend about 30 minutes total there. I came upon James leading Jaime along the rink wall and Joe slowly inching behind them. It was a little comical. But isn't everyone's first few times on ice comical?

I noticed that Jaime's laces weren't that tight so I helped him to the exit and to a bench so I could tighten them up to prevent his ankles from flopping around. He got right back up and on the ice with James. Joe just sat on the bench. Here was our conversation:

Me: "Are you having a good time?"
Joe: "Sort of."
Me: "Are you going to go back out on the ice?"
Joe: "In a bit."
Me: "Do you want me to come out on the ice with you?"
Joe: "Yes."

So in I went and paid my money, got quarters for a locker to stow my purchases and purse, and cautiously made my way to the rink. Now, I haven't been on ice skates since 1999 when I worked at an ice rink the summer between my Junior and Senior year at Mary Washington College. So I wasn't really sure how this was going to play out.

But I knew I couldn't chicken out. If I was going to fall, I would just have to fall. And I did really well! I never fell once. I realized that I can't show fear to the boys over ice skating. If I show fear over ice skating the boys would be scared and wouldn't even want to even try. The boys did fall more than once. But after the first time they just kept getting back up and kept skating.We skated for over two hours!

Jaime was having a blast skating with James, with me, with James and me. To make Jaime feel even more at ease I started calling toe pics, cupcakes. Which made it even more fun and easier to remember to use the cupcake when trying to get up.

Joe was Mr. Independent, but he never gave up trying to get better at skating. And he did even take my hand a few times. 

Jaime and James after a "fall." Jaime is always the actor.

I was so happy just skating round and round and watching the boys grow with confidence about their skating. I know now that I will not be able to live a life in fear. Because if I do, so will the boys. The little sponges that they are will pick up on that, and I don't want them to ever be afraid of trying something new. Of thinking outside of the box. Or stepping out of their comfort zone.

Life is to short to be afraid or fearful. Life is meant to be lived. And being a step-mom to these two boys is certainly making me live.

Joe's the dark mark in the middle. Always going against the grain.